While the supposed Puritans amongst us, balk at the idea of a “Side-Chic” the truth is, this is nothing new to global culture or the institution of marriage. In fact,the role might have evolved from its early days when Side-Chicks were basically property, kept by wealthy married men, to ostensibly help them destress, and or just be glorified playthings kept for amusement. To dangle in front of male colleagues as a symbol of one’s virility and or success.
Back in the day, sidekicks knew their places, in that they knew their role was that of a supporting actress and not the “Star”, consequently, public displays of affection; scenes, and even public acknowledgment by one’s married paramour, were never expected, were actually frowned upon, and were accepted as part of the ‘code-of-ethics’ or the unwritten ‘rules’ governing these liaisons, and were not only understood as the operational modus, but were accepted by the married paramour, his wife, and the society, at large.
There has been one consistent element of this arrangement over the years, and that is, the Woman is usually considered a beauty, with unusual sexual appetite and fluidity; otherwise from her ‘illicit’ relationship, was usually a paragon of contemporary virtues.
She was expected to be otherwise virtuous, a great hostess, and above all else, discreet to the core. Unlike modern sidechicks, the sidechicks of yesteryear, knew that their stations were fixed, there was no talk and expectation of her paramour leaving the matrimonial home, family, and social circles, to be with her. So there was no nagging about when is he going to Divorce his wife, as divorce was such an ugly word, the stain that lingered after a divorce, usually stained the new wife, especially if she was generally recognized as the sidechick.
She was usually, well-provided for, kept in every sense of the Word, as she was provided with a fabulous home, her own maid, and Gardener, (where applicable) with all her bills paid. Her home bar was well stocked and replenished after each major spot of entertaining and restocked as needed and supplied, as necessary. She was also available for short-term and long-term holidays, where she was provided a connecting room/suite to her paramour.
Now it is interesting to note that sidechicks of yesteryear, were known to wives, and in some cases, were actually sanctioned by the wife, who back then, regarded sexual intercourse as an act of duty, and not pleasure. So the roles were divided – The wife saw her role as providing enough sex to produce heirs, and if he wanted pleasure, then that was the duty of the sidechick.
Now, “sidechick” is the new jargon, but their role and presence are not. Older names included Mistress, Courtesan, Concubine, Lover, Paranour, Girlfriend, and even (unkind), homewrecker. With the more established sidechicks taking on monikers and additional roles such as HouseManager, Nanny, Housekeeper, and even Maids. Note that traditionally, these roles have originally been job descriptions, but the more elevated the sidechick was, the more was done to normalize her functions within her paramour’s family. And these traditional job descriptions and functions still exist today and are performed daily, by women qualified to execute these jobs. And many do, without the hanky-panky expected of the sidechick.
When it comes to the subject of sidechicks, the usual question is why do men cheat?
The answer to that embraces many different perspectives, some genetic, some social-conditioning, then there are the psychological profiles and perspectives. As well as the scientific prognosis.
Whatever the reason(s) men cheat, it is important to understand that the wife or Girlfriend being cheated on, is not necessarily a part of the equation. Some men are not satiated by fidelity; some enjoy the chase, so are constantly on the hunt. And there are those who because of their puritanical upbringing, go on to marry the chaste, almost sexually naive maiden, then takes a Sidechick, for the sexual thrills and experimentation, not expected at home.
Basically put, “wifey. Is expected to be like Miss-Goody-Two-Shoes; whilst the Sidechick, is expected to be the sexual temptress; the sexual provocateur, who will indulge the sexual whims and fancies of her Paramour, even if that includes taking another individual to bed, to spice up their sexual encounters.
She is however, expected to remain discreet beyond a fault; take every precaution to prevent herself from getting pregnant; never to play the dilettante, and perhaps most importantly, never to play the role of a wife, by complaining about domestic issues; nag, or treat him with complacency. He is the King of the Castle and wants to be so treated, at all times. The ability to hold an intelligent conversation is almost as important as the ability to act the Dumb Blonde. And remember refined culinary skills are a definite asset. Your role is that of the submissive mistress not a challenger of the status quo.
And remember, there are two types of side chicks, the ambitious (Often) homewrecker, whose sole purpose and function is that of ‘Landing’ a man of means, in the hope of making theirs a permanent liaison; And then there is the fem-fetale, the dainty soul who could never hurt a fly, but hones in on her prey with the accuracy and certainty of a ferocious cat hunting its prey. This is the more deadly of the specie, as she has all the tools of the home-wrecker, but use sophistication as an ally, as she would never indulge in anything that would cause public opprobrium. But by being demure and innocent, manages to enjoy the full benefits of the wife, excepting those special occasions such as holidays, that require his presence at home with the family. And here, a compromise is reached, as she gets her downtime after the family holidays.
As he pampers you, by taking care of your financial needs, so must you pamper him by taking care of his sexual and social needs; nurturing his ego, and being the best-supporting act, in the cast, is her role. His wife and children are not to be a part of the conversation. She must remember she is not a part of his family, but his sidechick, a role that does not necessarily requires that he “Loves” you, But one that will see him demonstrating his appreciation with trinkets, trips, and sexual adoration. Never try to recruit his friends, (or yours) in any campaign hatched to secure her own role or to enlarge it. Never compare yourself to his wife or complain about an upgrade to your status or the transport you have been provided by comparing yours to his wife and or children.
Your words and actions should never remind him of his wife, if they do, he will see that you are a mere carbon copy, and that could hasten the demise of the mystique that enamored him. Learn to live in the moment with an eye on the future, by remembering you are his sidechick, and your future husband may still be out there. So keep your eyes on the prize, always being mindful, that you are indeed the prize. You are not his Deputy wife and or Stand-in, so remember your Lane, And stay in it.
And my daahlings, remember, No Exit Interviews, as there are cases when the sidechick is indeed asked to level up, and Exit Interviews, could make any such possible elevation, Dead On Arrival. Ask the woman, who is now, the Queen of England!, she is perhaps the world’s most notorious ‘side-Fowl’ to have leveled up!!
