You know what I always find funny, People complaining that they don’t have time!
Really?
Time For What?
As a professional model and make-up artist, I have heard this complaint a lot over the years and I am always amused by it, as if nothing, what my years in the Fashion and beauty industry, have taught me, not to mention my years as a young wife and Mother, is the management of my time. Correspondingly, my observations have revealed – It is not that people do not have time as they complain, But that when they say they do not have time, for a friend, issue, or to keep an appointment, the raw truth is: They did not consider those issues, person and or appointment, a matter of priority.
People make time for their priorities. If You are not one of them, get over it and reorganize your life around making yourself, your priority.
There’s no shame in that game. As the rule is simple – “Never Make Anyone, a priority, who treats you as an option”. So, learn your value and place in the lives of those you surround yourself with, whether they be family, relatives, friends, and or business associates.
First, you begin by treating them how you would like to be treated, And if that’s not reciprocated, then shift gear and treat them the way they treat you.
This might be difficult at first, but with time and practice, pretty soon you will get the hang of it and it will help preserve your better self for you and those truly deserving.
Start by taking the time to analyze your relationships and see which of the categories, you fit in. Is there an imbalance?
. Note little things like when you try reaching a friend, relative, associate, etc., is your call returned promptly, or a few days later, if at all?
You being a truly concerned friend/relative, might be tempted to reach out again, by trying to place another call. Squash that urge and let that call go. In fact, You are under no obligation to palace another call to that individual until your call is returned. If and when that call is returned, resist the urge to answer it straight away, or at all.
It’s best you now begin the process of re-training your Relatives/Friends in the art of “timing’ and the respect that comes with being mindful that if and when you decide to share your time with them, on any level, do not take it for granted.
So, ignore that call, let it go unresponded to, for days, weeks if you choose to answer it at all, so they will develop a new appreciation for you.
If Friends and relatives are always late, stop showing up early then, Let them do the waiting a few times to register your disquiet, and or engender changed behaviour.
Are you the one always planning the surprise party, or hosting that little do for family and friends? Well, it’s time to give it a rest. Let it go and see who takes up the slack. Or more importantly, see who actually takes the initiative to plan a “Surprise Party” for you; or arrange a little outing with those you consider near and dear.
Do you have a friend and or family member who’s always too busy to visit your home? No prob, Give them A Break and stop going to theirs.
Do you have friends and relatives, who have never invited you to visit their homes? No problem, just take up the welcome mat from your front door and put it in the closet.
Are you the one always walking with a ‘Little Something” as a gift, when you go to visit a friend or asked out on a special occasion? Take stock and see how many of those you have blessed with your thoughtfulness over time. And try and recall who have ever once blessed you with theirs.
Are you the friend for whom the special stemware and dinnerware are reserved, or are they reserved for someone else?
Are you the Dining room friend or the Kitchen Counter- friend? Are you expected to understand when everyone else is treated to a pride of place and you an afterthought? Then
Time to know thyself. And know thy role in the pecking order. If you get invited to share the leftovers and not the actual fare when it was first offered, Then step away from that situation.
Are you constantly learning new things about yourself from others, supposedly shared with them by Your
Friend? Then its time to stop making excuses and step into your own Character and leave behind those who would characterize you, to fit in with others. Remember, You, are the Prize. You Have the Power. In your World, you are all powerful with the ability to save and dispatch. Let go of those who have tolerated, used, abused, and bad-mouthed you, for their own benefit and move on.
Holding on will not necessarily bring about any change, but moving on might.
Some people are supposed to be in your life for a season, when that season is spent, let them go so you can replenish your garden and grow. Remember, its your time, your Universe, your world, and you have the power to save and the power to dispatch. The art of living a truly satisfying life is knowing when to push the save button and when to hit delete.
One of the most commonly expressed regrets I have been hearing over the years is the regret of those who never knew when to let go and held unto toxic people way too long. Only to realize later that these people were not the friends they thought they were, but were social and financial parasites, drinking up their hosts’ energy, utilizing their connections, and resources, and bleeding them dry, whilst building their own fortress of self-preservation.
Its time to spend time with you, and then learn how to reinvest that time by redeploying it from the wasteful bunch you have allowed to consume it over the years, to building stronger bonds of friendships and relationships, with people that actually Care for you!
