Spotlight is not on you, do you throw a tantrum?
Do you feel the need, to be constantly told how beautiful and gorgeous you are?
If You find yourself answering yes to three or more of the above questions, you could be a Narcissist, but to find out if you are simply a narcissist or possibly a toxic, self-serving, harm=producing shit-stirring narcissist, keep on reading. You might learn a thing or two, about your narcissistic ways and the ways they affect those around you and could provide insight as to why you are alone, despite your best efforts to at being sociable, or the ‘Life of the Party”.
10. You Talking About Your Haters: The funny thing about narcissists, is their constant need for validation. And so, when things are not going right, they invent enemies. Today the buzzword is” Haters/Haterz”. And for the narcissist, the Hater is a crucial part of his/her pathology. Most blame the Haters, for their underachievements, or stagnation. The more productive are incentivized by the prospect of Haters, and use them to propel themselves to greater achievements. It is important to state, however, that most times Haters are imagined. And if one were to fact-check narcissists on their alleged haters, you might find, those being accused of hating are so busy trying to live their best life, they are unaware of those they are supposed to be hating.
9. Failure To Take Responsibility: One of the chinks in the narcissist’s armour, is the inability to take responsibility, for their own actions and the consequences of that actions. Consequently, narcissists are not Stand-up guys or girls but are usually shrinking violets, who show up for the applause, accolades, and photo-ops, but are never on the actual ground floor putting in the work. Their modus is put in place some kind of an infrastructure to accommodate implementation of goals and objectives, but allows them to keep their distance just in case, there’s an oops moment.
8. Inability To Make and Or Maintain Friendship: The Consummate Narcissist, is indeed a very popular personality. But in fact, is a very lonely personality. Socially insecure, they are constantly trying to prove they Belong/Are the Best/ and so, never take the time to actually live in the moment and or bask in the adoration being heaped upon them for their accomplishments. Instead, of enjoying life and friends, they are constantly competing with their friends, (Usually their friends are unaware of this). As they are motivated by conspicuous affirmation of their worth, and so miss out on the emotional satisfaction true bonding creates. Their operational mantra is they must be always a few materialistic steps ahead of the crowd. So they destroy friendships with their need to be Thee One. So friends are not seen as a support structure, but as Things to be managed, and manipulated, to serve the narcissist’s needs. So, the Narcissist will never be there to give a friend, his/her full support. Just enough support so that friends can get along. Never enough to surpass or equal the narcissist’s achievement. Usually the Narcissist Friendships, like their intimate relationships, are transactional. So very few narcissists have lifelong friends, as they move on, as soon as that friend has outlived his/her usefulness. Replaced by a new crop, designed to serve and enhance the narcissist’s sense of self.So, do you find yourself constantly at odds with those in your inner circle; or with relatives and or friends?
Are you continually bitching and moaning about your friends, family, and or relatives?
Do you find yourself accusing others of not pulling their weight and so, as a result, weighing you down?
Are you more comfortable, when the spotlight is on you, and not anyone else? And when you think the
7. Spend More Time Checking Your Make-up/Image, Than Productfully: Your typical Narcissist is vain beyond fault, but has mastered the skills of social camouflage, so they can hide their vanity until they can no longer. But the first tell-tale sign of their vanity is their obsession with their appearance. The male tends to become caught up with their body and are usually gym rats, whose only goal is to defy the aging process. And as aging is inevitable, they up the game by turning to cosmetic enhancement, etc. Now the female gets bogged down with her facial appearance and might even allow her body to expand, as long as she thinks she is still cute. For her, a Mirror is a best friend, and becomes like a Close Protective Officer. There to reassure and protect the fragile ego of the narcissist. She too will resort to cosmetic enhancements, when the aging process kicks in and will become its slave., to maintain that image.
6. Always find A Way of Making the Conversation About You: Most well-adjusted humans understand that we live in a world where we interact with each other and in so doing, we can learn from each other. And that the best method of learning, can be listening. For the Narcissist, however, It’s all about the – You Must Listen to them. They are always on. They always have a story to tell; and invariably, that story revolves and or includes them, their supposed prowess, achievements, and or their immediate family members. In conversations, they must not only be the Centre of attention, but they must also be the subject matter and reference. A world of praise is never enough. You share an accomplishment; They must too. You have a story to share, they have a better one. Your child is a genius, theirs is a savant. Anything you can do or say, they can do or say one better. If someone pays you a compliment about a particular hairdo. dress or a dish, they will find a way to draw attention to their own.
5.Always The Victim Of Others or Circumstances: Now, nobody! But Nobody uses victimology like the Narcissist. Sometimes they are even victims of nature, as nature will conspire with their haters to rain, on their parade. This usually comes to the fore in strange ways. Let’s take as a for example You attend a party given by a narcissist, you attempt to pay a compliment, as you genuinely had a good time, but in attempting to pay a compliment you are bombarded with stories as to how much better the event could have been, had the waiter been more observant; the Steak, not overdone; and the champagne had been cool enough instead of only at room temperature – None of these were things you noticed, but for the narcissist were crucial to point out, as it was all designed better and could have been way better if it were not for the morons they employed who fucked-up
4. Always Boasting How The Opposite Sex Find You Attractive But You Are Always Alone? Whether it’s factually true or not, most Narcissists have convinced themselves of their infallible beauty and charms. The problem is, however, Despite these endowments, they are usually alone. One reason we stated earlier is due to the fact that they are incapable of cultivating honest and healthy relationships. Their intimate relationships are transactional. And sooner or later, the emotional emptiness of that transactional relationship takes its toll. As it is devoid of human sensitivity, kindness, and or emotional underpinning., it runs its course, when the Support structure to maintain it, is diminished or removed. If you listen to Narcissists tho, they are always on about those who want them or find them irresistible. For all their beauty and charm, however, they usually end up alone and or with those they can still afford.
3. Find It Uncomfortable To Support Others With Their Ventures: The true Narcissist lives in dread of another’s success. And in effect will never raise a hand to help another to achieve their dream. They will pay Lip-Service, to provide and of giving support to a friend, and will even assist on a superficial level. As this Assistance is designed to truly mask their intentions. And that intention is to hold you down. You Must never become a contender in their league. You can succeed, but only if you remain a rung or two below the narcissist level. So no help will be forthcoming that will see you becoming on par with your friend, the narcissist. In fact, they will privately seek to frustrate your efforts and even advise you against pursuing your dreams, when they themselves see its potential for growth and greatness, just to thwart you.
2. Compliments, But Only Grudgingly: Compliments are another scarce item in the armoury of the Narcissist. They like to suck them up, but they rarely dish them out! And if they ever dish them out, it’s in a backhanded manner, that is calculated to detract or demean rather than to empower. Be wary of those who say: “He is my Friend, But! “ And be doubly aware and precautionary wary of those who are always ready to offer a joke, but that joke is usually at your expense, questioning your competence, capacity, and or ability. These ‘Jokes” and or Reserved Compliments are studiously crafted weapons of distortion, designed to cause others to question your ability, and see you in a space that is less than, the narcissist. Pay attention to their Speech, as it is usually dotted and punctuated with lots Of ‘I’’s”, “Me’s” and The Royal “We”.
1 Posting 5-10 Selfies In Your Social Media Sessions: One of the beauties of the age of social media, is the fact that social media has given people a platform on which they say so much, about themselves, yet, those of us looking on, tend to ignore these signs of social flaws, mental-instability, and attention-whoredom.
The Signs of Toxic Narcissism are always on display, especially, on Social-Media Platforms, as this is usually where the narcissist goes to find validation and or affirmation. The First warning sign of a Toxic-Narcissist, is anyone who posts 5-10 Selfies in any one Social-media session. Be wary of those, but be very afraid of those who not only post multiple selfies, but those who use filters and apps, to enhance their images. We are talking about the realm of low self-esteem here, with an overblown sense of entitlement, masked as care, friendship, and or industry.
These creatures are social vampires, who, once they sink their fangs into their unsuspecting prey, under the guise of friendship, will suck the very creative life out of their victims, to expand their reach and influence. Using empty terms such as BF, DF, GF, AAF, BFF, RLF., GFF, and FOAF, to ensnare and devour.